Everyone will be rejected at some point in their life. Whether it is in a personal relationship where a love interest is not interested in you or when you don’t get the job you interviewed for or the promotion you really wanted, rejection is something that everyone will eventually have to learn how to deal with rejection. These 5 tips will teach to tricks on ways to handle that rejection when it comes.
Realize It’s Not Always Personal
It may feel personal, but a good share of the time it really isn’t. In the job interview or promotion, it is not a rejection of you as a person, but maybe the lack of skills, qualifications or experience. There may have been someone more qualified than you or more tenure at the company.
Many people will take rejection personally. They will become depressed, and some even suicidal. Realizing that even if it is a relationship that is breaking up or someone who isn’t interested in the same type of relationship as you, it is not you as a person that they are rejecting.
In the case of a relationship that is breaking up, there is often fault on both sides. A lack of communication and differing ideologies often are the cause. Then there has been a traumatic event that can lead to breaking up. Whatever the case may be, you need to realize it isn’t just your fault.
Learn From The Rejection
Rejection is never easy to handle, no matter how strong you are. But you can learn from the rejection. One of the ways that many counselors talk about when they are teaching a person on how to deal with rejection is to learn from it.
What does this mean? Well, if it was in the job, learn why you didn’t get the job or the promotion. Was it because you didn’t have the experience or the tenure? These are things that can come with time and that you will eventually have.
In a relationship, ask why they are not interested. May be they already are in a relationship that you don’t know about. It could be that they don’t want to lose the friend they have in you. When a relationship changes, often it is difficult, if not impossible to go back to the way it was. If your friend has this fear, then realize that they have need for you in their life, and they don’t want the value of what you have to be lost should something go wrong.
Express Your Disappointment
It is okay to be disappointed when you are rejected. It is natural, in fact. Talk about the rejection, talk about the disappointment that you feel. Expressing your feelings is a great way to deal with it. You don’t want to keep it bottled up.
If you refuse to acknowledge and deal with the feelings that come as a result, you could potentially end up with a whole host of health and mental health related issues such as depression, suicidal thinking, low self-esteem, high blood pressure, heart conditions, stomach ailments and the list goes on and on. Do yourself a favor, and talk about it.
Check Your Ego At The Door
Many people who have a harder time dealing with rejection because they never believed they could be rejected. This over-inflated sense of ego will eventually lead to a huge fall. These are the people that truly do not understand why something is not working out the way they planned. They are often the ones that have the biggest issues with depression and suicide.
This higher rates is due to the fact that they actually have never failed, and when they finally do, and they will, it is like throwing cold water into a hot shower. Because they have never experienced it before, they have little coping resources and truly don’t know how to deal with rejection.
So, be honest with yourself and take a look at the situation. Were you over confident or did you have an over-inflated sense of yourself? If the answer is yes, that is what you will need to work on along with the rejection.
Don’t Avoid Tough or Risky Situations
Many people have a fear of failure, and so they avoid tough or risky situations. And by risky situations, I mean that situations where there is a potential for rejection, not bodily or true psychological injury. Those people who have this fear will often play it safe.
Also, this fear of failure will lead some people to stay in a situation that could be very harmful both physical and emotionally, as in the case of domestic violence. It is this fear of failure and rejection that keeps them in that relationship. Also, the fact that the perpetrator tells them it is their fault and that if they only did this or that, it wouldn’t happen again.
Recognize the symptoms of fear of failure. These will include:
- Staying in an unhealthy relationship
- Not taking chances on a new relationship
- Allowing fear to dictate actions
- Playing it safe
- In social situations, either remaining quiet in a corner and speaking only when spoken to
There are several more, but this is a good list to start with. If you recognize any of this in yourself, you will need to deal with the fear of rejection as a way to learn how to deal with rejection.
Rejection is one of the hardest things we have to deal with. It can bring up emotions that we really don’t like. Using these 5 tips on how to deal with rejection, you will begin to understand how rejection can actually make you a better person.